What better place to lose my writer’s block than gliding over the fluffiest of clouds, clouds that look like gigantic sheep floating in the sky. Indeed, inspiration strikes in the places we least expect, and truth be told I never imagined my heart would rumble and shake, hungry for a flight. Somewhere, somehow when I was moving forward in life things internally connected and rewired themselves inside of me. But how? Why? When? It was at the airport that I realized the change. The minute I entered the airport, no anxiousness, no nervous feelings-nothing, but I used to be terrified of flying I thought to myself. I liked this feeling, no fear.
So, what happened to me externally that rewired me internally? I kept thinking about this as I waited to board my flight, “what changes inside of us that we unknowingly grab the most intangible of all emotions, fear, and transform it into courage?” I continued to think about this as I sat peering out my oval shaped window seat. You see, maybe we need to break open internally and release the built up thoughts, ego and broken promises we failed to keep to ourselves. Allowing all of it to drip out of us like an IV drip, slow and steady from our consciousness.
Like a turtle left on its back, life has a way of turning our world upside down. When I lost people in my life that I cared tremendously about, moved from a city I fell in love with, and returned to a city I had to learn to love again, it took inner peace, reflection, good souls and accepting what I couldn’t change. The universe has a way of teaching us harsh lessons, it’s up to us to find the message in each of our falls. Life is a never ending process of learning and growing; ebbs and flows. We lose people forever and learn from their existence, and sometimes, we let certain people go in our lives only to have the universe guide them organically back to us again. It is all a learning process. We might not know where we are going, but we know were we have been, and those roads mold us for what will come. Fearing the unknown, fearing what we can’t control, fear to say what we feel, fear to send a text saying I miss you, fear of risking everything for our happiness, that’s living a bridled life. Living courageously and without regret that’s life. That is the goal, an unbridled life, and living like that, is like breathing the most refreshing gust of crisp winter air.
You see, when you crack the door open into moving past your fears, you’ll see, just like I did, that the world is a lucid dimension of depth that is too beautiful and too vast to fear. The type of vibrations you put into the universe will be the same vibrations that come crashing back into your world. I wanted to give myself butterflies for the first time in my life; I wanted to feel the butterflies in the pit of my stomach again. Giving yourself butterflies is the softest most beautiful love you can find. So, here I am up on top of the clouds, snacking on my munchies, relaxed and enjoying the view. It’s the best view in the world, and I can’t help thinking about life, the ones I miss, the ones I long to see, the ones I’ll always love, the ones I am thankful for in my life, my future, and my present situation. All these thoughts bounce off the walls inside my skull while a tickling sensation erupts in my stomach. It feels like the fluttering of a million butterfly wings bumping into each other, and I can’t help but smile from ear to ear.